10/12/2016

Police ‘Kill’ 400 In 7 Years After Being Held In Custody

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Four hundred people killed themselves after being in  police custody in the last seven years – this mean that more people have died in the hands of the police than the Taliban killed British soldiers in Afghanistan. The Equality and Human Rights Commission blamed many of the suicides on a lack of care exercised by the boys..girls..transsexuals in blue. The Commission argue that people were being released without any adequate assessment of their mental health needs. Many of the FOUR HUNDRED deaths occurred within 48 hours of their release from custody. It is preposterous that a person arrested in England would be safer in a foreign war than in a cell. This follows news that a clairvoyant midget has escaped from prison. Police say there is a small medium at large. In a court case in Missouri a policeman was asked what his version of events was after a black teen was shot 12 times. He replied, ‘Worst case of suicide I’ve ever seen.’ I once applied to join the police force and they asked me what I would do if I had to arrest my mother. ‘Call for back up,’ I said.

Russia Wins Election For Trump

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The CIA have announced their inquiry into Russian involvement in the US election is complete. Their findings include the discovery that Russian hackers tried to influence the election by interfering with Hillary Clinton’s database of voter records. Stroking a white cat Russian president Vladimir Putin denied he had targeted the US election saying, ‘Me? Not me guv. I’m concentrating on my own election where I will win 98% of the vote.’ The Russian economy has been in freefall for months and Economics Minister Yukanol Fukov was asked by experts what did Russian people use to light their houses before they started using candles? ‘Electricity,’ he said. Donald Trump phoned the Russian leader to discuss their relationship going forward. He asked, ‘What will Communism be like once it’s perfected?’ Putin replies, ‘Everyone will have what they need,’ ‘But what if there is a shortage of meat?’ ‘There will be a sign in the butchers shop saying ‘No one needs meat today’. ‘I like it,’ said Jeremy Corbyn.

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