Absentee Prime Minister, Queen Of The U-Turn, Dodges Debate To Spend More Time With Her Penguin Book Of Witchcraft

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#WheresTheresa? asked the Twittersphere last night as she avoided public scrutiny by staying away from one of the few public debates of the election campaign. ‘Attending to government business’ came the unconvincing reply. I have it on good authority that she was on the streets of London with husband Philip wielding baseball bats and smashing old people. the homeless and the disabled in the face. The TV debate was, like all these things, thoroughly unenlightening, but it did show us that even Tory voters in the audience could not bring themselves to applaud their own representative, Amber Rudd. Poor Amber, her father died at the weekend yet May forced her on to the podium to defend the indefensible and argue that what Britain needs is more of the same; same policies, same austerity, same lack of imagination, same people targeted and the same platitudes. A vote for May is a vote to stand still, a vote for 5 more years of misery for the many not the few. The only thing that will be going up in a Tory world will be the inequality between rich and poor, suicides, evictions, benefit sanctions, food bank use and deaths by air pollution. A cross in the box for your Tory candidate will be (literally) a nail in the coffin for your grandparents, a squeeze on the amounts spent on your child’s education and large rises in the charges for your teenager’s university education. May will turn Britain grey, sucking the sunshine out of our lives, a dystopian future of zero hours contracts, downtrodden workers, rising rents, rainy summers and pickled onion flavour ice-cream. May wants to make this election about Brexit, she doesn’t want to answer questions about how she is funding her policy commitments and doesn’t want to debate with other leaders. She will (probably) win this election without having engaged with voters. Do you want a cowardly, U-turning, unimaginative, anti-feminist Prime Minister to turn this country into a colourless hodge-podge of depression and despair run by mega-rich Oxbridge a*seholes? If not, vote for anyone but the above on June 8th.


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