Tiger, tiger turning right, driving a car whilst high as a kite. Tiger, tiger in the zoo, trapped and bored so I’ll eat you.
Like buses you wait ages for one tiger story to come along and then two appear at the same time. Poor old Tiger Woods, something of a predator himself with a penchant for blonde white women, has been caught drinking under the influence….of what, we don’t know. What we do know is that Tiger’s illustrious career has tanked since he was caught cheating on his wife with a succession of women who looked remarkably similar to……his wife. That just shows a complete lack of imagination. Woods would still be a great golfer, if only the holes were moved 200ft to the left. Tiger has issued an apology stating that he is very sorry he got caught….again. Someone should tell him that he can now order his drink/drugs/medication online and that he can probably afford to get a taxi if he needs to pick up a blonde from the local bar.
In other tiger news a zookeeper was killed yesterday at Hamerton zoo in Cambridgeshire – the natural habitat for magnificent tigers. Okay, this is a tragedy but it is also a tragedy that we still allow zoos to keep animals like this in 400 square foot enclosures. The tigers are probably so bored that they wait years for an opportunity to kill, as is their nature, and when zookeepers become complacent, they pounce. How can it be right to keep nature’s most successful predators in conditions that can only be described as slavery? Research has consistently shown that animals suffer pain, boredom, sadness and mental anguish associated with captivity. Zoos are no more than concentration camps predicated on the view that humans are superior to all animals and we therefore have the right to use them for our amusement. Zoos will argue that they are, in reality, conservations areas protecting these animals from extinction. If that is the case why do we not keep pygmies, aborigines or Native Americans in captivity to preserve their race from being wiped out? Because they have ‘feelings’? Well, here’s the rub, animals have feelings too and the sooner we abolish zoos the better. Taking little Johnny to see the elephants, cheetahs, gorillas or polar bears is not educational, it is seeing cruelty in all it’s vainglorious, blemished forms.