20/05/2017

Pippa’s £300,000 Wedding – Obscene Or Just Merely Salacious?

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Wannabe princess Pippa Middleton today marries billionaire James Matthews. The world’s press are gathered for the low-key-but-in-front-of-the-cameras nuptials because we, the plebs, are very interested in seeing rich people flaunt their wealth and connections in front of us. Pippa’s parents are not ones to use their Royal connections to boost their profile and businesses, although they have earned millions since Kate married William. Just a coincidence though. Pippa has invited the great and the good to the ceremony and the reception, the latter being held in a £100,000 greenhouse including a fly past by spitfires – a spitfire being the roasting over an open flame of a number of poor people. Should be a laugh. A Sky reporter has been describing Carole Middleton as the most successful mother-in-law in history after bagging her girls one future King and one billionaire……Jesus Christ is this what passes for journalism in 2017? Does anyone know why this is news anyway? Someone rich is marrying someone richer at a wedding attended by people who are ludicrously rich. What about Tracey’s wedding to Wayne at Plebsville Registry Office today? Tracey’s reception is being held in a 10 person tent in a field off the M1 with a flypast by a police drone. 11.47am Sky have just announced excitedly that they have seen the legs (yes, the legs, God give me strength) of Prince George and Princess Charlotte. The legs disappeared behind a tree, reappearing seconds later….. .as just legs – the bodies of the two Royal children have obviously been misplaced or is it a ruse to fool the media? Could’ve been any rich person’s legs. Will Meghan Markle go to the church? There is not a shit to be given from this quarter.

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