05/04/2017

Fancy Being Crucified? Manchester Passion Offering The ‘Full Jesus Experience’ For £750

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A bizarre plan to ‘crucify’ members of the public in Manchester City centre has been axed after the Church of England described the idea as ‘blasphemous’. For £750 Manchester Passion, raising money to perform the Passion play, were offering people the chance to experience the ‘suffering of Christ’. A number of Tory MPs were believed to have put their names down to be beaten, whipped and humiliated – the £750 being half what they would normally pay a dominatrix to perform the same service. Nakib Narat, a playwright from Chorlton, nailed the feelings of the public saying, ‘People weren’t happy about it, and I was one of the ones who wasn’t happy,’ (in fact he was very, very cross). He should just Netflix and chill. Easter is almost upon us and this is a time of year when we can reflect on what Jesus gave us; chocolate eggs, a few days holiday and a Middle East in the throes of mutually assured destruction. Of course these days Middle Eastern gentlemen wearing long robes with long beards are regarded less as a saviour more a bomb toting jihadist.  The idea came from Mr Stewart-Clark, a volunteer for the Passion Trust, but he faced a backlash from religious leaders who said the plan was ‘full of holes’.

Livingstone Suspended For Thoughtcrime

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Thoughtcrime (George Orwell, 1984) – thoughts that are unorthodox, or are outside the government platform

Ken Livingstone, former London Mayor and professional left-winger said, in April 2016, ‘When Hitler won his election in 1932, his policy then was that Jews should be moved to Israel. He was supporting Zionism before he went mad and ended up killing six million Jews.’ What he said was fact…unalterable, undeniable, unprejudiced fact. Hysterical Jewish groups, MPs and ‘the always ready to be offended’  called Mr Livingstone a ‘Nazi apologist’, castigating him for the temerity to use the words ‘Jew’ and ‘Hitler’ in the same breath. For speaking truth Livingstone has been suspended from the Labour Party for two years. Free speech, freedom of expression, freedom to worship, freedom to think independently are all cornerstones of a ‘free and open society’…….unless you happen to happen to hold views which differ from the consensus. Now we have to be wary; if the truth does not fit the facts; change the facts. The ‘free’ west has killed an estimated 2 million innocents in the ‘War on Terror’, Israel has killed tens of thousands of unarmed Palestinians , yet the media concentrate on the diabolical tendencies of the Taliban, IS, Al Qaeeda, Boko Haram, Al Nusra and others. Or, in other words, Muslims. Killing Muslims = Justified, Muslims Killing = Never Justified. Perhaps the equation should be; Killing = Always Unjustified, Peace and Love = Civilised.

Competition For The Nightly Show

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Joy to the world this Easter time, James Corden is bringing his US late night chat show to the UK. In what is being seen as a sizeable middle finger to ITV executives trying to explain away the disastrous Nightly Show, Sky have commissioned Corden to show them how to put together a popular late evening ‘variety’ show. To be frank employing a rabid dog to interview z-list celebrities would be competition for ITV’s offering, a place where humour and wit expired in a mangled, screaming death. And thus we return full circle to Good Friday.

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