31/03/2017

HSPC Invites Customers To Choose Between 10 ‘Gender Neutral’ Titles

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Banking giant HSBC has decided to cater for their many, many transgender customers by giving them a choice of titles they can adopt which are not as rabidly ‘offensive’ as Mr, Mrs, Ms or Miss. The bank has come up with a number of alternatives, 10 in fact, Mx, Ind (for individual), M, Misc (whose gender is miscellaneous?), Mre (supposedly short for mystery??), Msr, Myr, Pr (or person), Sai (WTF is that?) and Ser. Gimme strength. Those who wish to be identified by any one of these terms will be addressed as such in telephone or in-bank communications. Who knew we were now living in an age where there are 14 genders? In recent months transgender people have been indulged by various organisations as though the state of transgenderism (?) is mainstream not 0.001% of the population. There is nothing wrong with being transgender; if you want to swan around in women’s (or men’s) clothing then good for you but this is an extremely small number of people. If there are to be so many ‘rights’ for a tiny minority then why not include LHVs (left-handed vegans), FTGCs (Four toed gay chefs) or PPPPs (Petanque Playing Pescatarian Plutocrats)? Even the Royal Bank of Scotland (which is already discriminating against Republicans) has entered the fray by axing mother’s maiden name as a security question to be sensitive to ‘non-traditional’ families.

Researchers (Yes, them again) Suggest That The T-Rex Was A Sensitive Lover!!!??? Really?

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Oh God, where do I start with this one? The 20ft carnivore with 9inch serrated teeth had a nose as sensitive as a human fingertip, according to researchers who believe what they are saying. They also reach the conclusion that male and female (possibly transgenders, who knows?) T-Rex’s rubbed their faces together in an act of sexual foreplay. The ‘findings’ were published in the journal Scientific Reports on what must have been a slow news day. You may be asking yourself the question, ‘How do they know?’ Good question. They don’t. Still, none of us can look back 100million years and categorically say the T-Rex was not a good lover…….who am I kidding, of course we can….take all the research grants back from these nonsensical ‘scientists’ and tell them to go make a living in the real world.

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