TV Review – The Replacement……Oh dear


After two and a half hours of pretty good television the BBC drama ‘The Replacement’ disappointingly descended into a final half hour of utter farce. Were the writers given 10 minutes to finish the final half hour or had they just run out of ideas for an ending? I could’ve thrown a brick at the TV if I hadn’t been so worried about missing and smashing my window. For some inexplicable reason Ellen turned out to be James Bond and Paula turned herself in. WTF? I doubt if a seasoned army mechanic could’ve worked out how blow out the car’s airbag and why did Paula seal her in the car and then be completely unsurprised she had managed to get out and find the baby in the library?  Why did Ellen’s husband turn out to be the worst psychiatrist in the world, completely unaware that Paula was a raving psychopath? The sleeping pills that Ellen willingly took – if she was going to be locked in a car she couldn’t get out of anyway, what was the point? Who called the police? If it was Paula why did she leave the baby in the library and not just take it with her to the police station? Would anyone who had their child killed by a speeding driver be in contact with them? Why was Kay on the roof? BBC and the writers have sold us a pup, the end was lazy, confused, poorly constructed and an insult to the viewers intelligence. Thank God I’ve not been watching any of the 35 episodes of Broadchurch. Just tune in to the last one if you’re at all interested. Spoiler alert – turns out David Tennant did it.

The Five Second Rule? Could Be Half An Hour (And We’re Talking Food Here, Not Intimate Human Relations)

 germs1   germ2

Little more than 1 month ago a test was carried out on a science programme on TV to determine whether food dropped on the kitchen floor could still be eaten after 5 seconds contact. Various food types were scrutinised, ending with the conclusion that bacteria attaches itself to food immediately and there is no such qualifying time as stated under the 5 second rule. Today a team (applying for a research grant) from Aston University in Birmingham recreated the experiment with surprisingly different results. According to them you could leave sandwiches, crisps, biscuits and chocolate for half an hour without endangering your immune system, whilst sweets, cooked pasta, chips and doughnuts should be picked up within 5 seconds. A couple of questions spring to mind; surely it depends how dirty your kitchen floor is? And secondly, how can two experiments of a broadly similar nature produce such diverse results? After it was recently discovered that climate change scientists had doctored their data on the scale of man-made global warming to gain large research grants, are we now at the stage of suggesting scientists are more  devious than the crooked man who walked a crooked mile, bought a crooked cat that caught a crooked mouse? If science continues along this route it’ll become slightly less credible than religion, and then we’re all in trouble. Thank the Lord for politicians; at least in them we have someone to trust. Stand up Philip Hammond.

William Takes Flak For Stag Do In Verbier

william1 william2

Future King  Prince William has been criticised for attending a stag week at a posh ski resort in Switzerland while his poor mother and other Royals had to endure a Commonwealth Celebration day featuring patronised dancers in National costume and foreigners forced to be jesters to the Queen. Our Will has been fraternising with would-be barely dressed models, downing Jagerbombs and partying till all hours at the exclusive Farinet club before crashing out at a £3000 per night chalet usually reserved for James Bond baddies. Meanwhile, at home, Kate has been left holding the babies….check that…the nanny has been left holding the babies. Anyone see why William may have chose the skiing? Some observers seem to think that William having a good time is a dereliction of duty – let’s see what happens when Kate is invited to a Hen do – but if you’re richer than Lord Rich of Richingbourne surely you can do what you want. Otherwise what’s the point? William’s friends on the trip include Thomas Van Straubenzee and Earl Julian Double-Barrelled, both of whom joined the Heir to the throne in whipping servants as part of a stag game. Switzerland is, of course, infamous for storing Nazi gold stolen from the Jews in the 2nd World War, so William was probably just checking up on his family’s investments.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s