08/03/2017

CIA Hacks Our TVs, Phones, Social Media Accounts, Bank Accounts And The FSB – Can’t Take Down Wikileaks Though

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Wikileaks has caused a storm of outrage after releasing documents found whilst hacking the CIA. The papers show that the CIA has been involved in all manner of nefarious deeds including; targeting Windows users, hacking Smart TVs to record audio, phishing of email accounts and reading private messages on Whatsapp, Signal, Telegram and Weibo. Some of this was done in collaboration with Britain’s ‘listening service’, GCHQ, which begs the question, is anybody safe from the security services? The answer is, if you have wi-fi or a Smart phone you can be tracked, hacked or sacked. If you tell your deepest darkest secrets to Alexa she is passing this on to those who can use it against you if needed. I asked Alexa if she had been compromised by the CIA. She said ‘I don’t understand the question’ but my strangely my playlist now includes; Men In Black (Coco and Will Smith), All Secrets Known (by Alice in Chains), Secret World (Peter Gabriel) and I Want To Kill You Like They Do In The Movies (Marilyn Manson). Just a few days ago people were laughing at Donald Trump’s claim that Trump Towers was being monitored during the lead up to the election. These revelations may now be seen to have some credence. However, if Trump was left alone in his office with just a TV for company watching Beixbart news the TV will still have been the Smartest thing in the room.

The….zzzzzzzzzz…Budget – Funnier Than The Nightly Show But Still Less Amusing Than Leprosy

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Chancellor Philip Hammond has delivered the last Spring budget to Parliament and, boy, was it tedious. Viewers were left unsure whether Hammond was making a play to be announced as next week’s Nightly Show presenter or whether enervating is a new government policy to put old people to sleep. I could tell you what was included in the statement but I would have to shoot myself well before the end. A few days ago I wrote my predictions for the budget…..turned out to be pretty accurate. Government MPs usually wave their order papers and cheer when each new policy is announced….this time they were mostly silent and busy fingering their CIA hacked Smart phones. Headline moves were unsurprising; tax breaks for rich individuals and corporations, huge tax rises for the self-employed – all mainly small enterprises that can hardly afford to pay current taxes and the good news for women on International Women’s Day is that there is no bad news. oddly, Rich Phil made virtually no mention of the biggest issue of our time, Wenger in or Wenger out?…..no, I meant Brexit.

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