03/03/2017

Two Shot Tasers For Trigger Happy Cops

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Police Officers in England and Wales will soon be issued Taser guns that can fire twice at poor unsuspecting blind people. Following two recent cases of a man being tasered because he was in possession of a white stick (police believed he was carrying a Samurai sword)and another being assaulted with 50,000 Volts because he was carrying a cane (mistaken for a gun!) – both blind men – the police will now have two chances to take down people posing no threat whatsoever. This is deemed more suitable than gun-toting officers shooting dead unarmed black men. The new X2 stun gun emits a crackling noise and pulsating bright light before firing to alert the ‘offender’ and persuade him or her to surrender, similar to gun carrying officers shouting ‘Stop or I’ll sh……oh shit, I’ve already shot him’. How a pulsating bright light is meant to deter a blind man carrying a white stick in a threatening manner is unclear. Figures indicate that the people most likely to be subject to a Taser discharge are; those with mental health difficulties, ethnic minorities, disabled people, people asking for directions and those with ‘funny looking’ faces. 11 deaths have occurred whilst the police have been using the X26 stun gun, a model that ‘has had it’s day’ say the Police Federation. With the new X2 they can kill twice as many, which is obviously a much more efficient use of the technology.

France Passes Law To Make It Illegal To Feed Starving Migrants

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Largely ignored by the mainstream press the mayor of Calais, Natacha Bouchart, has made it a criminal offence to provide food or drink to migrants. She says that the rules will be rigorously enforced and that the ‘regular, persistent and large presence of individuals distributing meals to migrants….threatens the peace.’ The Catholic Help group, who hand out meals, says that tear gas and baton charges have already been used against them for having the temerity to feed people who have no means of producing or buying their own meals. How long before local authorities in Britain draw up similar legislation to prevent people giving food or money to homeless people to deter them from occupying town centres?  One has to wonder how the French police will argue their case in court, ‘You are charged with providing humanitarian assistance to people who have nothing.’ Judge: ‘You’re kidding me, right? You want me to fill French jails with people who have nothing but good intentions? Va te faire foutre.’

Cardiff University Joins ‘The Basket Case Club’

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Latest in a long line of Universities that want to change the English language into a politically correct mush of inoffensive words is Cardiff University. Students and lecturers in the Welsh capital can no longer use the words ‘mankind’ and ‘man-made’ in case some poor snowflake feels offended by them. The University claims ‘inclusive’ language must be used to comply with their Equality Act as ‘gendered’ (not even a word anyway) words could be considered discriminatory by some sad, lonely pc cretins. In addition ‘forename’ is no longer allowed as ‘Christian name’ may offend those of different faiths. The list also, ludicrously, includes; best man for the job, forefathers, housewife, manpower, headmaster and headmistress and Mrs and Miss. Makes my f*cking blo0od boil. There are a few words left in the dictionary to describe this move; half-baked, half-witted, dumb, laughable, imbecilic, gelastic, preposterous, word-terrorism and language-assassination (I made the last two up but I guess what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander – although Cardiff says I can’t use gander because it’s related to being male). I suppose I’ll have to rewrite my dissertation on radical Islam by removing the description ‘beardy, woman-hating, murdering, paedo gay boys’. Oh well.

 

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