Online Dating Liars Should Suffer The Full Force Of The Law, Says Scorned Woman
31% of women on online dating sites will respond more favourably to a man using the word ‘whom’. 100% of men on online dating sites will respond favourably to a woman using an online dating site.
A female teaching assistant on the dating app Tinder has called for criminal penalties for men who(m) post a ‘counterfactual’ (lie) profile on the site. 44 year old Anna Rowe was duped into a relationship with a man calling himself ‘Anthony Ray’, which was his first post-truth statement. He claimed he was divorced, had three children, was ‘big league tidy’ and partnered Paul Nuttall to the Men’s Doubles title at Wimbledon in 2014. Mr Ray said he was unable to see Ms Rowe at weekends and his aviation job kept him away for 3 or 4 days a week. Ms Rowe did not regard any of this as suspicious and could therefore be regarded as…..oh, what’s the word……oh, yes……thick as a prop forward’s thigh. 6 months into the relationship Mr Ray disappeared, saying he was going to visit the International Space Station. At this point Ms Rowe became suspicious and tracked her lover down, discovering he had a wife he saw at the weekends and children in the North of England. Being a rather sensitive (alternately described as ‘the wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead) soul Ms Rowe rushed into counselling where the counsellor slapped her across the face for an hour shouting ‘if he didn’t use the word ‘whom’ you shouldn’t have been dating him. Epic fail’. Ms Rowe now wants the law to be changed to include an offence of ‘lying on a dating application’, with a maximum sentence of 10 years….about the same as a murderer or paedophile. It is unclear whether this legislation would include women who describe their physique as ‘slim’ and turn out to be bigger than a airship, or say they are 30 when they’re older than the Pyramids or have a ‘give and take’ personality when, in reality, if you so much as glance in the direction of another woman, they’ll stab you up.
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