23/02/2017

7 Earth-like Planets Discovered (But it’ll take 800,000 years to get there)

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Astronomers have discovered a remarkable solar system which has 7 Earth-like planets orbiting a low mass cool star 40 light years away from our planet. Three of these planets are in what is called the ‘habitable’ zone around the star (where conditions exist to support the presence of liquid water), leading to the possibility that life may well have evolved on one or more of them. The star is named Trappist-1 and planets catchily called lb, lc, ld, le,lf,lg and lh. No one knows what happened to la although Trump and Brexit have been blamed for it’s disappearance by liberal commentators and fruitcakes. With current technology it would take us over 800,000 years to reach the planets, about the same time it takes negotiate the M62 on Monday mornings or queuing for the self-service till at Asda at any time. If there is intelligent life on any of these planets they would be observing Earth as it was nearly a million years ago when there were fewer than 26,000 humans, with very few, if any, residing in Britain. However, due to uncontrolled immigration, by 799, 990BC the UK was full and suffering from a housing and NHS crisis. UKIP was not active at this time although Paul Nuttall did kill a Sabre-toothed tiger with his bare hands.

Storm Doris Causes Minimal Disruption, Although BBC Claim Stormaggeddon

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It’s just weather, right? Obsessed as the British media are with trees slightly wilting in the wind, storm surges of 2 – 3 inches and driving rain requiring the use of windscreen wipers, Doris has caused no real problems at all. However the hysteria of the BBC with regard to weather is only equalled by their slobbering fear of Brexit and the possibility of the license fee being scrapped. How would their £million+ stars and executives, like Gary Lineker (1 MOTD per week) or Graham Norton (1 show per week) cope without the indulgence of the BBC Trust? Traffic has been slightly affected in Scotland by BBC reporters standing in the middle of the road being buffeted by light winds and in Northern Ireland a few thousand homes are without power, but that is quite normal for a backwards country.

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