Trump Accuses US Media Of Peddling ‘Fake News’

*Warning* Parts of the following story may be true

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Donald Trump, the first Twitter President, has accused most of the US media of being dishonest and of perpetrating a ‘Fake News’ agenda. The New York Times and CNN responded by reporting that ‘The Donald’ was born with six toes on each hand and that he was responsible for the Hillsborough disaster. Trump replied by saying CNN is run by a Mexican drugs cartel and the NY Times uses meerkat blood in the printing process. White House Press Officers (those who haven’t been fired, resigned or deemed unsuitable for office) state that stories of immigration officials rounding up illegal immigrants across America are false – even though 700 have been detained in Ney York alone. When journalists and Trump’s administration accuse each other of making up news stories the losers are, as always, the electorate. It then boils down to a choice between a government predicated by untruths or the vested interests of the print and TV media owned by the rich and powerful. A prime example of ‘Sophie’s Choice’.  On the other side of the pond the BBC continues to struggle to keep to their remit of ‘impartiality’ by suggesting Kim Jong-nam was assassinated because of the Brexit vote and that waiting times in Accident and Emergency departments are now 3 days 45 minutes. Also as a direct consequence of Britain leaving the EU. Arsenal’s 5 – 1 defeat to Bayern Munich? Yep, Brexit.

Stalinist Liverpool Council Bribes People To Snitch On Each Other. Free Council Tax The Reward.

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Liverpool City Mayor, Joe Anderson, has put forward a proposal to reward people who take pictures and report to authorities dog owners who do not pick up their pet’s ablutions. If the owner is convicted and fined, the ‘snitch’ will receive one years free council tax. Encouraging the populace to report each other to the authorities is a method used by the Nazis, in Stalin’s Russia and by ISIS. It probably won’t be long before the owner of a ‘devil dog’ sees someone taking photos of their dog easing it’s bowels and makes the informant eat their phone and the dog’s mess. This would entitle neither to a reduction in their rates. Once this policy comes into force it won’t be long before people are asked to ‘grass’ on bad parkers, queue jumpers, poor fashion sense and voters with faces which could crack windows. Joe Anderson himself has been reported by many as possessing an offensive intellect reminiscent of a lobotomised Panda.

Nuttall Breaks Down As He Recalls Being The First Scouser To Orbit The Earth

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Speaking at the UKIP party conference in Bolton leader Paul Nuttall broke down in front of his supporters as he described his fight-to-the-death clashes with ISIS in the battle for Mosul. Following criticism of his protestations that he lost ‘very close, personal’ friends at the Hillsborough tragedy Nuttall came out swinging, which, incidentally is his second favourite hobby. The controversial UKIP leader was applauded by party members after asking for their support, claiming he would take UKIP into government in the 2020 election. He distanced himself from remarks made by party donor Aaron Banks that Hillsborough victims were ‘milking it’, calling Mr Banks ‘a fantasist’ – which is the equivalent of being called a murderer by Harold Shipman. Nuttall will now concentrate on the forthcoming Stoke-On-Trent by-election by trying to persuade voters that he scored the winner in Stoke City’s 1992 Autoglass trophy win.


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