14/02/2017

It’s Valentine’s Day – Remember, never laugh at your girlfriends choices… you’re one of them

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For professional singletons everywhere Valentine’s Day is the day those anonymous envelopes dropping through your letterbox are a sure sign you are adored by, among others, your bank, energy companies, 4 local takeaway delivery firms. Jesus Loves You cards from the church and 49 different charities. For those in love favourite VD presents include scented bath salts because nothing says ‘I love you’ more than having to soak in a lukewarm grit filled  bath which lacerates your legs and backside. Flowers account for 67% of all VD purchases (on the basis that 77% of statistics are made up on the spot), some are ludicrously expensive roses which will be a quarter of the price tomorrow and other people (for which read; men) who will buy a bunch of wilting carnations from a service station at 6-00pm on the way home from work. These men are called ‘soon-to-be-divorced’ or ‘battered husbands’. Of course for some VD will be a pressure free, cheap day of joy and happiness. These people are called ‘single’. I’m off to indulge in a grit free bath whilst eating a non heart-shaped chocolate bar and pulling the petals off a dead rose. Happy times.

Is There Life On Stars?

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In a 20 year study astronomers in Hawaii have discovered 60 planets orbiting stars in our solar system. This brings the number of potential new worlds in our vicinity to 114, many more than have been estimated previously. The research findings are based on 61,000 observations over two decades and leads the scientists to conclude that ‘virtually all’ the nearest stars to our Sun have Earth-like planets orbiting them. This increases the chances of life existing on some of these planets exponentially. All of these planets are so far away that if intelligent life existed there and they were observing us, they would actually be watching dinosaurs roam the Earth. The observations were part of the Lick-Carnegie Exoplanet Survey which began in 1996. To a layman interested in space one question remains unanswered; if no one believed there was life out there why are billions of pounds, roubles, dollars and Yen being spent in trying to find it? It may also be the answer to the question; if all the nations of the world are in debt, where has all the money gone? Philip Green is not the answer.

 

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