31/01/2017

Today Is A Trump Free Zone*

*Unless he does something monumental, like nuke Syria

Affluent Areas Not Taking A Single Refugee

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A report by MPs has concluded that asylum seekers and refugees must be placed in more prosperous areas to ease the burden on poor, mainly Northern towns which have been forced to take the vast majority of people seeking refuge from war ravaged countries. This has placed local councils in the unenviable position of providing school places, housing, jobs and other infrastructure without any extra funds to do so. Wealthier areas have refused to take refugees stating that this could upset the balance from all white communities to ever so slightly less white communities. An astonishing three quarters of local authorities have declined to take even a single refugee for fear of damaging social cohesion. This flies in the face of the argument that diversity is good for the community – it appears this is only true for those living in areas with high levels of poverty, a shortage of decent housing and jobs and lacking the infrastructure to cope with the needs of people already living there. The Prime Minister’s constituency, Maidenhead, has not received one asylum seeker. Theresa May has explained why, ‘These people would not enjoy life in Maidenhead, they will be much better off in Rochdale, Hull or Oldham where they can mix with their own types’. Former Labour Shadow Home Secretary and wife to Ed ‘Twinkle Toes’ Balls Yvette Cooper hit out at the government saying this was a shocking indictment of Conservative policy on refugees. Last year Mrs Cooper was one of the first MPs to say that she would be very happy to take a refugee into her home. Thus far she and Ed have housed precisely zero of those travelling thousands of miles to flee persecution and genocide. Some may call this cynical, even hypocritical, maybe untruthful but that’s what we think politicians are like so she’s just doing what is expected – spouting politically correct claptrap whilst her actions, or lack of them, tell an opposite story. The 78 page report also slammed the quality of accommodation offered to asylum seekers as ‘disgraceful, substandard, unsanitary and unsafe to live in’ – still better than living in a house in Aleppo or Mosul though, I’ll wager.

Gin Saved By Scientists

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Gin lovers everywhere will probably not be aware that the flavour source for the drink, juniper trees, are being depleted at a rate of knots by a fungus-like disease. However, the UK National Tree Seed Project (who knew?) have begun to freeze seeds which can later be germinated (ginimated?). The boom in gin consumption over recent years has been blamed on people who like drinking and, for once, Muslim refugees are unlikely to be the cause of the trouble. It is sobering to think that the recommended age to have a Ouija board is 8+. So, you need to be 18 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil. The last time I got drunk my house wasn’t where I left it.

….more to follow…

 

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