06/01/2017

What Are My Chances Of Securing A GP Appointment? Compu’er Says Low

nhs   nhs2

The NHS is to trial a diagnostic app in the London area to reduce the pressure on GP surgeries and A&E departments. It could also be a move to save doctors and nurses from litigation when they tell patients they have heartburn when they were actually suffering a heart attack. You can’t sue an app. This new move comes as the alternative to 999, the 111 service has been shown to be as useful as bicycle peddles on a wheelchair. 90% of calls to 111 will advise clients to either go to their GP or to A & E, which most callers will assume was their choice anyway. 111 advisors are given up to three quarters of an hour training before being allowed to diagnose (guess) complex conditions without so much as a cursory examination. One caller rang the service complaining of a high temperature and excessive sweating, only to be informed they might have ebola and to go to A & E immediately – wrong on so many levels. Turned out the caller had flu. One positive for the phone app is that it beats most GPs and doctors when it comes to providing an acceptable bedside manner.

Jail For Parents Of Late To School Kids

school321.png  sch1.png

After the success of jailing parents for the truancy of their offspring, new guidelines will soon come into force to imprison parents of children who are frequently late for school. This is obviously unfair to those people who, for one reason or another, are always late, like the late King George VI. Some leeway will be given to pupils who travel to school on Southern Rail, who regularly turn up for lessons at around 11am on a Tuesday and arrive home at 11pm on Saturday. Soon there will be moves afoot to incarcerate white British mothers (because in 99% of cases it is these mothers who are prosecuted) for having children in the first place because it is their offspring who are clogging up the schools and denying migrant kids a classroom place which includes 8 translators and 5 teaching assistants per class.

 

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