The Dark Lord Rises
Master Of The Dark Arts Lord Peter Mandelson has returned from the bowels of the earth after being appointed by London mayor Sadiq Khan to oversee the impact of Brexit on London. Mandelson was the man credited with keeping Tony Blair in power. B*stard. Known for his ability to keep a straight face whilst lying through his teeth Lord Voldemort…..sorry Mandelson….returned to government three times after being involved in the Hinduja passport scandal, for borrowing hundreds of thousands from Lord Falconer to buy a house in London and for being the face most voters would like to slap (and that includes Anthony ’12 houses’ Blair). Mandelson is one of those Socialists who believe purchasing a £1+ million house is thoroughly compatible with being ‘on the side of the working class’ (see also A Blair, G Brown, slimy ass hole ‘Teflon’ Keith Vaz and any number of be-Lorded Labour creeps who probably haven’t met a working class voter since 1997).
Britain In Proxy War In Yemen
It has been confirmed that British made cluster bombs are being used by Saudi forces to bomb civilians in Yemen. It is unknown how may innocents deaths have been caused as a direct result of Britain selling arms to the Saudis. A government spokesman said that they didn’t know that the bombs were being dropped on hospitals and schools. Selling arms to regimes such as the Saudis is one of the biggest scandals in British history yet the clamour to stop the sales is a whimpering whisper. One of the burning questions to have not been answered is why is the British arms industry is making cluster bombs – the most indiscriminate of ordnance, and then why they are being sold to a murderous medieval regime who publicly execute ‘criminals’ almost on a daily basis.
Pay More To Keep Your Lights On
Electricity companies have come up with a plan to keep the lights on for some people when the inevitable power cuts come into being due to onerous Green policies coming into practice. the plan is remarkably simple – if you want to avoid sitting in the cold and dark, pay more! Genius. Toothless regulator Ofgem has said, ‘Currently we all pay broadly the same price for our electricity but after introducing new features for the consumer it will be possible to pay more for a more reliable service’. Obviously crazy thinking but in the coming years the rich may be able to charge their electric cars and their Iphones and are guaranteed heat and light for a price. The poor, as usual, will suffer blackouts, the elderly will die in their thousands from cold, those on the breadline will not be able to heat up food or keep it fresh in a fridge. When the lights do go off I suggest we all go round to the mansion of one of the electricity company executives and throw defrosted comestibles at their windows.
Along with the RMT and British Airways staff the workers at Weetabix have also decided to strike over the Christmas period. Oh no what will we all do without the tasteless, cardboard cereal? The government has condemned the planned strike action by saying that ordinary people will be affected. That’s the point of a strike isn’t it? Breakfast Committee Chairman Keith Vaz waded into the argument by asking the people he knows for their thoughts – that’s Eastern European rent boy sex slaves, drug dealers, money launderers, crooks and terrorists. Apparently none them know anything about anything and certainly nothing about Vaz’s dodgy sexual preferences. Even the police have come up empty handed. Why does Teflon Vaz keep getting away with it? Because he knows where all the bodies are buried.