16/12/2016

dogsxmas

A very doggy Christmas.

Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No, It’s Just A Meaty-Yor

meteor

A meat pie has become the first pastry in space after months of training at Roby Mill, Wigan. The pie travelled up to 30km high before making it’s way back to Earth. Scientists say that now one successful launch has been achieved the ‘pie’s the limit’ for future exploration. The pie will now join Tim Peake on a whistle-stop tour of Britain’s schools, the I’s Pie Tour, before finishing in the Wigan branch of Greggs. Astropieyisist Bill Kenyon, who built the pie, says this has been his greatest achievement since inventing the flying walnut…watch out for them this Christmas!

Travel Companies Slap ‘Brexit’ Surcharge On Holidays

brexiteconomy

Little did we know when The Jacksons released ‘Blame It On The Brexit’ that in 30 years time every rise in prices, every downturn in the economy, every coach abusing young footballers and every Boris Johnson would be blamed on Britain leaving the EU. The latest move by travel agents is to add at least £50 for holidays already paid for – this is due to ‘Brexit’ they say. As most travel agents buy foreign currency to offset any fluctuations this seems like a convenient excuse to extort more money from travellers – who really have no other choice than to pay the surcharge. In other news not one single passenger has had the price of their holiday reduced as a result of beneficial fluctuations in currency or fuel prices. That may not come as a shock.

‘No Hope For Future’ Says Michelle Obama In Festive Christmas Message

obama

2020 US President Michelle Obama has sounded a sour note on her last interview before leaving the White House. On a Oprah Winfrey special to be broadcast on Monday Michelle Obama says Americans lack hope and stability in the wake of Donald Trump’s victory in the US election. She also says ‘a grown up’ is needed as American President. Trump tweeted, ‘Ooh, get you’ in response.

fatherxmas

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