The Disappeared – Where Have All The Children Gone?


Thousands of schoolchildren have gone missing from school rolls in the last few years and very little is being done about the scandal. The vast majority of the youngsters are females of Asian, Middle Eastern or African origin and are believed to have been forced into marriage. Some of the girls are as young as 12. Schools do not have the resources to chase up ‘the missing’ and the police appear to be, at the very least, lacking concern. If these were white British girls there would be an outcry. Marrying off underage girls is regarded as the norm in some cultures – in this country it should be viewed as prosecutable child abuse. The authorities are turning a blind eye to the issue because of the fear of a racial backlash. The Muslim Organisation of Preventative Strategies (MOPS) have issued a statement saying, ‘We married our wives at the age of 12 and they have been happy to spend all day in the kitchen, covered from head to foot, without ever coming out of the house or learning the English language. This is a cultural issue so we can get away with anything we damned well want.’ The Commission for Racial Equality responded………..with nothing….no, really they’ve got nothing. Ditto police. Ditto government. Ditto bleeding heart liberals and socialists. Have you heard the clamour to resolve this outrageous abuse of the most vulnerable? No, me neither but the FA has managed to set up an inquiry, interview victims and are undergoing a rigorous overhaul of their child protection measures within just a few days. Is it cos they is white?

Let Us Eat Cake


Walking to a Downing Street meeting to discuss Brexit a government aide exposed the points to be discussed in that meeting. The outstanding message of the leak was that Britain wanted to ‘Have it’s cake and eat it.’ This has caused much consternation amongst the chattering classes worried that Britain may try to snatch the cake, eat it and slam the empty plate down in front of European Union minsters. One question remains; if you had a cake, why would you not eat it? Surely that’s the point of a cake.

Driving Home For Christmas? Good Luck


A government think-tank (a dozen unelected, unqualified apparatchiks talking to themselves whilst supping Green tea and vigorously dunking Jammie Dodgers) has indicated that Britain’s roads are the most congested in Europe with over 2000 hotspots of nightmarish traffic. This will come as no surprise to Uber or Deliveroo drivers who spend so much time in traffic jams their hourly earnings are around £2-60 per hour. Many of these have to take on second jobs in places like Sports Direct. This can increase the hourly rate to as much as £4-21. Oh well, off to the food bank then.

Lotto Hacked Off


The National Lottery has been hacked by forces intent on finding out what tonight’s lottery numbers will be. The lotto board has decided to release tonight’s numbers so that everyone has a chance. They are; 16, 17, 23, 56, 63, 92. There is still only a 23 million to one chance of winning.


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